random thought.

one year ago today to the hour, i was stepping off a plane. the stomping grounds were familiar, the air pregnant with humidity and excitement. this was almost routine now, however the circumstances quite different. i slid off quickly from the airport into a cab, avoiding the midtown shopping as i arrived in my hotel. and there you were. i dont really remember what we said at first, but it was obvious that this time things were different. i remember that you held me close and were rather solemn. you looked exhausted. it wasnt until later that i learned you had pulled an 18 hour shift and had only just arrived yourself. we sat on the balcony for two hours, regardless of the opened sky as it poured down around us. we were soaked but happy. we didnt speak much, just sort of ruminated on all that had transpired in the past few months. that night was sweet, not overly done. you made everything perfect, as usual.

the next day, hungover and still entangled, we headed off to that silly party in East Hampton. I don't think we spent more than fifteen minutes there though, as we both decided the beach was much more suitable for all that we had to say. Under a surprisingly clear sky dotted with a spectacular fireworks show, you held my hand and placed it on your heart. there were no words to say, we both knew everything in that single moment.


its a year later. im home. you're far away again. time since then has continued, never changing but changing just the same. your toothbrush sits easily next to mine. half the closet contains your clothes. your pillow still smells like you. i can still feel the warmth of your heart beating steadily beneath my trembling palm.

and thats all that matters here, right now.