Haaaanyway. Thursday was 30 Seconds to Mars. Mind you, I won those tickets unexpectedly (to recap, I have officially won tickets to 16 different shows on my lifetime, 6 this year alone) and had zero plans to even go. But really, could I have turned down a chance to stare at those soul stealing baby blues set in that handsome possumface? IDONTTHINKSO.
To recap: 30STM on stage is amazing, however it was cut a bit shorter because the drummer guy was sick, so he was either in back getting a blowie or Jared Leto just wanted a few more moments to talk/get all the girls panties wet. But Show wise, it was spectacular. However I felt like a fucking sardine, as the band commanded everyone to press in, and up, and together, and jump, and sway, and twist. At some point, either an errant boner or a pocketed phone was pressed into my ass which made me feel utterly uncomfortable and yes, OLD. That being said, I got to look at this. So I won't complain too much.
Hello crazy eyes. I would most definitely have sex with you.
That night I pretty much had my entire household up in the air as my procrastinating ass hustled to pack. I didn't get any sleep, but I did devour many a popsicles. The next afternoon I had an uneventful flight to NYC, with the familiar sense of trepidation in my heart. I arrived at the hotel before The Brit (that's how he'll be referred to from now on) and immediately dug into the hotel mini-bar. The Brit arrived a few hours later, looking like he had jumped into the East River while wearing a snowsuit. Plus #1: he had a beard! Now, I knew that in our time apart he had been growing one, but I thought it would be scraggly. However this was full on mountain man. Made a mental note to forget about possumface. Below is a quite accurate drawing of my beloved.
I look like a british uni-bomber!
Remember when I said drawing was not my strong suit? Yes? Okay good, because this looks nothing like my boyfriend, but more like a serial killer who stole jared leto's eyes. Sigh. Sorry, Britboy!
So after he cleaned himself up a bit (but not much, because well.. he is a british hobo) we headed out to one of our favorite New York bars. It's small, it's cramped, it's hidden enough to be considered hip, but not.. well, you get the gist. On our way there, a homeless man gave me a drawing of a cat. I honestly haven't scanned it or taken a picture of it yet, but I definitely need to as it was probably the most hilarious drawing I had ever seen, mostly because it was almost as good as one of mine. At the bar I proceeded to drink one too many whisky shooters and immediately demanded The Brit do the robot with me. Sad to say he did not join in on my robot love, which lead me to believe that he has been lobotomized. Double sigh. The night ended with me demanding a shake from Gray's Papaya and dumping it accidentally and totally forgetting about it.
The next morning I woke up to... A BEARDLESS BRIT. I had a moment of absolute panic, thinking I had somehow misplaced my dear hobo and replaced him with someone else. That obviously explained why he didn't do the robot with me, y/y? But alas, he just wanted to look all nice and cute. /fancy story
We spent the day lolling around, sitting in the hotel lobby and making fun of people (the best quote by far came from The Brit as he decided an old man's name was obviously R.C. Puffypaint). We ventured out to buy books, shakes, and the sweet little Brit warmed my heart by bringing me falafels. We ended out the night bar hopping (or as The Brit eloquently called it, Pub Grubbing) and I definitely drank my weight in whisky.
Sunday morning. Water for Elephants premiere. Ruh... roh. I had witnessed some of the fans lining up when I walked by the theatre on Saturday night. I was scared. I was worried it would completely stampeded upon by Twilight fans. Now, let me take a moment to just say. I do not have anything against the people who have vaulted Robert Pattinson's career (as I was one of them, holla!), however there is a certain CREEPY BREED OF TWILIGHT FANS who just will not go away. They are a bad rash on the baby buttocks of the Robert Pattinson fan-world. (Any of you who have ever forayed into this world know the exact type of fan I am talking about. The one with the Twilight bed spread. The one with the Twilight pillow. The one that bows down to Stephenie Meyer. The one who has Edward's creep face tattooed on their lady parts) But I digress, the women I encountered were really nice and seemed to sincerely care about The Pattinson's career, and not just asking him to bite them.
SO moving right along. Sunday morning I got my nails did, my hurr did, and shook my head and tsktsked in disappointment as I stared at The Brit's clean shaven face. It was HORRIBLE (please read that in Mary Katherine Gallagher's voice) but still, he is cute so I'll keep him. My dress was pretty fantastic, and if I could I would wear it everyday as it was just that comfortable. So.. we headed to the theatre.
I know the movie comes out tomorrow, but I feel like I need to post this spoiler free, with a little forewarning.
I loved the book, Water for Elephants. I read it a few years ago when my goblin was having hip surgery. It took me a day, as I could not put it down and it completely swept me away into the circus world. It helped me avoid the sight of honeychile all morphined up and sadfaced. So the book was really something I hoped the movie people got right.
I would just like to say despite the few slight deviations from the book, the movie was what I wanted it to be. Every detail was beautiful, and the animals were extraordinary. Tai, who plays Rosie the elephant is a majestic creature with wise eyes. She stole the movie (and my heart /cheesy line) and that is saying a lot, considering she played along Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon. To digress slightly, Christoph is the craycray August, and he does such a magnificent job of portraying a man that's steeping in turmoil. Reese, who I have never really been a fan of (I was forced to sit through back to back to back viewings of Legally Blonde by a 7 year old I was babysitting and it made me suicidal) was beautiful as Marlena. She was vulnerable with just a hint of noble strength, and I do not think they could have cast anyone better fit for the role. As far as Roberto Pattinson goes, wow (WOW MIKEMIKE, WOW). He is so ruggedly handsome in this movie (especially when you see him alongside the animals and doing manual labor.. thoughts of Will Farrell as the lumberjack in StepBrothers comes to mind..LOLJK) that it's hard to believe he was ever the constipated Edwardo Cullenz. After the movie ended, I had to take a moment to just breathe, because I was so caught up in the story that I lost track of everything around me (and that says a lot, considering the company inside the theater). The only thing that bothered me is I knew that despite Witherspoon and Waltz, this movie will get unfair shit talk because of Pattinson. Bleh on the couch critics of the world!
After the movie we skedaddled off to the after party where I marveled at the gilded birdcage, drank some champagne (not champale, because I am a classy broad), and secretly took off my shoes and slid on my awesome Dr. Scholl's pocket flats (those things saved my damn life, as I was blinded by pretty shoes and did not realize the severe uncomfortability of them). After the after party, we played pool while I played shitty songs on the jukebox just to annoy the bar patrons (playlist included: 'I wanna know what love is'-Foreigner, 'I swear'-all4one, 'I wanna sex you up'-Colour me badd, and "The Thunder Rolls'-Garth Brooks) but in my opinion, if a fucking jukebox has those songs even available, it would be an absolute travesty if I -didn't- decide to play them! We ended the night in our hotel room watching an infomercial about the bender ball.
We flew back Monday morning much to my delight, as I had a million goblin kisses to give an adorable goblin. We won't have another one of these shindigs until Breaking Dawn: the apocolypse, but this one was beautiful and perfect.
4 comments:
So sad to hear about beardless brit.
RIP, beard!
I can't believe I was going on about Water for Elephants and ALL OF THIS was happening on your blog, which I have just now caught up on.
So, er, just overlook what I said about Reese in the comments of my review...and what you said about being wrapped up in the story YES times a thousand!! And as someone who has always rolled her eyes at RPatz (because she only sees him as Edward Cullen), he completely converted me with this role.
Additionally, the rest of your weekend recap was muchly entertaining and your drawing skills are fantastic. :) I am very excited about the amount of updating going on over here. (Consider it reciprocal stalking!)
LOL! he really did prove he could do more than sparkle. Reciprocal stalking- i like that! <3
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